


The Bait

by consciousness_streaming



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, video fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12108051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consciousness_streaming/pseuds/consciousness_streaming
Summary: Phil drags Dan into another video, but doesn't give him the full story





	The Bait

“Hey guys!” Dan feels that Phil waves at the camera, knowing his eyes would be showing his excitement. Dan’s sat behind a not-so-mysterious square pillow on the colorful duvet next to Phil. The things he does for Phil, honestly. The subscribers are going to see the title of the video, they know the ‘guest’ is Dan. Still, Dan can’t say no to Phil’s pouty face when he insists that Dan hide behind the pillow for a dramatic reveal.

“Since you guys loved my video where I took quizzes about myself so much, and then you loved it when Dan did it, we figured, we’d take some quizzes together,” Phil elbows Dan behind the pillow and then grumpily frowns. He supposes that was his cue.

“Ahh! Stop it,” Dan says, sounding a bit muffled and put out.

Phil starts tickling him when the elbowing doesn’t seem to work, “only guests who reveal themselves on time don’t get tickled to death.”

“You could have said,” Dan whines and then throws the pillow off like he’s a vampire and it’s time to wake up out of his coffin. The pillow lands somewhere off camera and almost knocks a plant over, “it is I, guys, Daniel Howell, here to keep our Philly Willy Ding Dong in checkarooni.”

“What language was that even?”

The whine turns into a pout, “you elbow me, you tickle me, you bully me, why am I even here, Phil Lester?”

Dan’s smiling enough to show both dimples so their audience will know he’s only kidding. Sometimes they don’t quite understand when he’s joking.

“You’re here to help me take quizzes, remember?” Phil says, pulling his ancient Macbook up onto his lap where he’s already pre-loaded a quiz. Dan can’t quite make out what type of quiz this is. He supposes it’ll be something dreadful like “Which ‘90’s Boybander is Your Spirit Animal?’

That actually sounds kind of cool, though. He would totally take that quiz in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep and Wikipedia isn’t cutting it anymore.

“You need help taking the quizzes? Isn’t it supposed to be a personality assessment? I think I’ll just confuse the answers,” Dan says, torn between trying to peek over Phil’s shoulder at the quiz for a better look and staring at the camera.

Phil notices the attempt at cheating and drags the laptop over to the other side, “I figure we’ll make a bit of a game out of it. I’ll read the questions to you first and you answer them, but the catch is, you won’t know what the name of the quiz is until the end.”

Dan’s face morphs into appreciation, Phil left that part of the explanation out when he was asking if Dan wanted to be in his video today, “so it’s kinda like how you know the name of the quiz and you can guess the answers that are going to give you the result you want, it’s like countering that urge.”

There goes Phil’s awesome brain again, Dan thinks. This is not the first time he’s conveniently left something out when asking Dan to film a video with him, and it sure won’t be the last. When you have a relationship like Dan has with Phil, there’s enough trust to know that Phil would never put him in a position where he was made to look like a fool. Well, more than gentle teasing. And if it truly is horrendous, then Phil wouldn’t put it up online. He’s also quite handy on editing.

“Yeah, it’s double blind,” Phil says, pointing at the camera, “Science Phil gave you your fact of the day.”

“I don’t think that’s what ‘double blind’ means, but okay, sounds good. And then do you do a quiz and I don’t tell you the name of it?”

“Yeah, but I haven’t loaded one for that because then it’d be cheating,” Phil adjusts how he’s sitting on the bed and looks over to Dan, “ready for the first question?”

Dan brings a hand in front of his face, grasping his fingers together and then bringing his whole fist down like he’s in a bad kung fu movie and he’s focusing his chi or something. “Yeah,” he says, “hit me with the first questy.”

On camera Phil doesn’t roll his eyes, but Dan knows he wants to. Instead, he pulls up the first question, “Okay, the first question is: ‘What do you look for in a friend?’”

“I’ve only got one and you’re looking at him,” Dan says to the camera.

Phil continues to read the question like Dan hadn’t interrupted, “A) Athletic B) Considerate C) Funny D) Loyal,” he turns to look at Dan, bright blue eyes focusing on reading Dan.

Phil could probably take this quiz for Dan with how well he knows him, and vice-versa. Dan’s never felt as _known_ as he does with Phil and he loves it. He loves knowing the man he is spending his life with truly understands him and appreciates all the nuances that make him up, the good and the bad.

He cherishes the compromising they do—on the book and the tour, everyday life things. With Phil as his business partner, boyfriend, and flat mate, they’ve had to make every decision together and that can be very difficult if neither one is willing to compromise.  He’s enjoyed every way in which Phil enriches his life. He loves that when they start a family together one day, he’ll have a new type of partner in Phil and new things to argue about. Knowing that there’s more room to grow with Phil, comforts and excites Dan at the same time. They aren’t stagnant, but they are steady.

“Those are really hard to decide between,” Dan says, “can you read them again?”

Phil reads them again and Dan thinks on it pretty hard. Phil might have to edit some time out here.

“Well athletic is out right off the bat,” Dan says, because he can’t expect a friend to be something that he absolutely doesn’t identify with. Also, athleticism doesn’t speak much about a person’s character, so it’s not that important. Dan doesn’t choose his friends for their aesthetic appeal. His boyfriend of ten years does have a very high aesthetic appeal, though.

“And funny is out. I mean, I like funny people, but that’s not what I need at the core of a friend. Considerate would be nice, but then again, you’ve been leaving socks around and cabinets open since 2012 and I’ve clearly stuck around. So, let’s go with loyalty,” Dan feels confident in his answer.

“Final answer?” Phil asks, looking to Dan then back at the camera.

“Yeah, sure, next question.”

Phil clicks the answer and reads off the next question, “Which of these nights best suits you: A) Clubbing, B) Anime C) Sports D) House Party?”

“Anime,” Dan says with no pause.

Phil laughs a second and when he sees Dan’s questioning look explains, “I already had that one pressed, just needed you to confirm it.”

Dan laughs too, “Yeah, yeah, like that’s not the answer for you too. Go on, read the next one.”

“Which of these YouTubers would you talk to at a party: A) Felix—“

“Let me stop you there,” Dan interrupts, “Is AmazingPhil a choice?”

Phil nods and Dan goes on, “then let’s not kid ourselves. It’ll be you and me in the corner, eating snacks, and talking to a very select few people who are brave enough to approach us with the anti-social vibes I give off.”

“We’re not that bad,” Phil tries to protest, “that usually only happens after we’ve run out of things to talk about with people and we make excuses to go find a drink and then we just don’t return to the conversation, but we’re not quite ready to go home yet.”

Dan concedes, “true. My point still stands. AmazingPhil is my answer.”

Phil doesn’t bother to hide his little smile. After all this time together, he still loves when Dan chooses him above everyone else. Dan’s the same way, he gets a little thrill when Phil sits next to him—at home, in meetings, on the tube, you name it. He loves the validation of Phil making a conscious choice to be close to him.

“Next question, then,” Phil says, “and there are only two questions left.”

“Only five questions? That’s kind of a short quiz.”

“I didn’t want the viewers to get too bored. And this way we can do a couple different quizzes instead of one quiz with forty questions,” Phil says and Dan sees his point. Better to have shorter quizzes for more shenanigans.

“Anyway, the next question is: What reaction do you have when you see a dog: A) What breed is that? B) I want to pet it and I want to pet it right now C) That’s an ugly dog D) I’m allergic, help!”

“Quick answer to that one, obviously, I want to pet the dog. Who could look at any dog and say it’s ugly? What is wrong with humanity,” Dan asks, shaking his head.

Phil looks solemn as well, “Some people need to learn to look beneath the surface and see the true beauty beneath.”

“Besides that being literally the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said, it’s true. I would love my really ugly doggo, and we would play fetch, and do tummy scratches, and cuddles, and give each other kisses. What’s not to love about dogs?”

“There’s everything to love about dogs!” Phil agrees enthusiastically and both of them look at the camera. Phil will probably do some sort of edit here, “Last question, are you ready, Daniel?”

“The last question is am I ready? I mean, yeah?”

Phil gives him his patented I’m sick of your shit look. Dan giggles until Phil can’t hold the face any longer and joins him.

“That was the stupidest joke, Dan.”

“You loved it,” he says, “now give me the real last question.”

“Okay, okay, the last question is,” Dan watches Phil find his spot on the laptop, “What type of partner would you want for long term?”

This is a touchy question, since they aren’t out to their viewers. What type of partner would Dan want? Phil. Always Phil. In every way, Phil.

Someone to spend his day with, who makes him laugh constantly. Someone who understands him, holds him accountable, challenges him and supports him? That’s Phil. Someone who holds the same values as him but thinks just slightly differently? Dan loves the way that Phil’s mind works, it’s how he can be so creative and innovative.

“A) Supportive and Nurturing B) Funny and Loyal C) Challenging and Secure or D) All of the Above,” Phil finishes and, yeah, they’re going to have to re-film this bit because Dan can’t keep from kissing Phil.

“You know you’re all those things, right?” Dan says when they come up for air, “you are literally all those things and more. You’re my best friend, my lover, my partner, my favorite person in the world and I’d do anything to keep you happy and safe and by my side forever.”

Phil blushes like this is the first time they’ve ever kissed and Dan’s said nice things about him. He pecks Dan again quickly, “I love you too. Now, should I start at the answer choices this time?”

Dan lets himself look longingly at Phil for a couple more seconds before he tries to rein it in. He’s not very good at reining it in according to the internet, but he does try.

“The answers will be fine,” he says. Phil reads them off again and this time Dan doesn’t cross the distance and kiss his boyfriend, even though he really wants to. “I’m going to have to go with all of the above. Because why limit myself and why limit my long-term partner, am I right?”

Phil smiles and Dan thinks he’s just on this side of okay for what’s appropriate in a video these days.

“Do you want the answer first, or the name of the quiz first?” Phil asks.

Dan considers the question for a second, “I think it’s funnier if you give me the answer first and then the name of the quiz, but it might not make any sense. So, your choice I guess.”

Phil looks down at his laptop, to look at the answer, “I’m going to give you the name of the quiz first.”

“Okay,” Dan says and he thinks he picks up a hint of nervousness in Phil’s voice. He could be wrong, but just in case, he pushes his knee over so that it’s resting against Phil’s thigh.

“The title of your mystery quiz is ‘Which Youtuber Should You Have a Baby With.”

Dan looks at the camera and shakes his head slowly, a smile forcefully pulled out of him, “Really? Alright then, go on, what’s my result? Who am I having a baby with, Phil?”

He looks over to Phil for the answer and Phil is looking intently at the laptop screen. Phil’s behaving rather odd, Dan thinks, normally this is the part of the video where Phil would be over the top and enthusiastic and speaking quickly and excitedly. Instead, Dan sees that he’s biting his lips and his eyes look uncharacteristically serious for a moment like this.

“The results are in,” Phil eventually says, and turns the laptop screen around to show Dan that the answer, unsurprisingly, says AmazingPhil, “The internet says you should have a baby with AmazingPhil.”

“Of course it would be you,” Dan says, trying to pull it off as a joke for Phil’s video, but their eventual family isn’t really something he wants to joke about. Phil might have to edit this entire quiz out of the video because Dan can’t stand to even entertain the idea of having a family with anyone other than Phil.

“You should have a baby with me,” Phil says again and this time with a tone in his voice that Dan can’t quite place. It’s serious and something in it grabs Dan and forces him to look back at Phil until the strange reverence in Phil’s sharp blue eyes fills Dan to the brim. Phil reaches over and takes Dan’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly.

“Please,” he says, “have a baby with me. I’m ready to start a family with you.”

“Is this going in the video?” is all Dan can think to ask, his mind strangely blank from happiness.

“No,” Phil says, holding Dan’s hand with both hands now, “there’s no video. I just wanted to ask you dramatically.”

Dan chuckles because of course Phil wanted to be dramatic. This is the man who forces them to open their Christmas presents slowly and one at a time so that they can watch each other’s faces when the present is revealed. This is the man who read his early teenage chats to the internet and dressed up and did voices for everybody. People like to claim Dan is the dramatic one, and sure, he’ll accept that he’s extra as hell, but Phil has a flare for the dramatic too. It’s one of the many things he loves about him.

“Yes,” he reaches over to kiss Phil, “I would love to have a baby with you and start our family.”

Phil’s tongue peeks through his teeth when he smiles and Dan’s heart melts. He throws Phil’s laptop carefully onto the bed and climbs into his lap to hug him. His arms go around Phil’s shoulders and Phil’s arms rest on his waist and they bask in the presence of one another.

“Phil?” he says a couple minutes later.

“Yeah?”

Dan nuzzles into his neck, “We’re going to be dads.”

Phil presses a soft kiss to Dan’s jaw, “We’re going to be great dads. We already have so many internet children who think so.”

Dan sighs, but he can’t keep the smile off his face all day.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't feel like my best work, but I am trying to do more one-shots while I work on this long fic I've been playing around with. Come talk to me on tumblr at nomoredramallama
> 
> Not beta read, so all mistake are mine AND I'M SORRY OKAY
> 
> Title from John Donne poem because he's the bomb


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